Well, now there's a website. And while your logic is completely faulty (What's so different about a website and a facebook group?), at least now - for whatever reason - you can get off your ass and check out this website which seeks to end Vancouver's historical problem of early closing times.

I'm a traveler again. Alone in my city for the first time. I will have my coffee to stay. Take my time. Smear the dirt and the smells of back alleys on my clean clothes, get lost in the mire of moss cracked industry. In Belfast, after the troubles, I was there, and I was lost, and I grew strong and bold, booking beds in hostels, buying books of bus tickets. Or, when the walls opened, and the siege was lifted, and the Apprentice Boys stood aside, I walked the old city of Londonderry, confident and proud among the paint-splattered outposts and martyred walls. Now I drift. I wander to live. I let the city's doors open, I listen to the whispers in the cobblestones, I follow the underground streams to their source, like a sockeye, I've been here before. Only this time, I've grown even bigger, in a spiral outwards, drawing in the detritus of seasons. Count the rings, you'll see, its all circular, Fibonacci was telling the truth. Even in smoke and mirrors there are smoke and mirrors. Mother, please believe me, like you believed in me once before, I will smash them again, these mirrors.

This week, Vancouver will be hit with two completely opposite acts of the electronica variety. First up are Treasure Fingers, Kill the Noise, and Datarock, who will grace us with their presence this Thursday. The following night is Superstar DJ Keoki, who hasn't been to Vancouver in years, and whose career has been spanning for a lot longer than that of your average DJ. The two shows are going to be totally different, but both will hopefully get people moving and talking...

I've received news that French speakers, a species so rare in Vancouver that they have to be seen to be believed, gather once a month at the Backstage Lounge to listen to music, mingle, and dance. They'll be out in full force tonight, and so will I. The night is called C'est Extra, and there are shots of Jäger on special to make you that much more confident in speaking. Personally, I'm hoping for lots of hot men standing six meters away from the entrance, smoking cigarettes, and, if I'm lucky, doing the poutine dance captured above.

The birthday party was held at Railtown, a warehouse that seemed more fit for a rave than anything else. The room started to get packed around the 11 o'clock mark, with more and more people showing up in a steady stream. Drinks were well-priced, which kept the bar with a constant crowd hovering around it. The music was good, with all the usual indie suspects (and some bits of 80s, 90s, whatever) provided by VND&LSM, Trevor Risk, and Tyler Fedchuk.

Hailing from the UK, the Autobots are two nu-skool breaks DJs and Producers who also run their own record label, Broke Recordings. They've played at shows all over the world, including Glastonbury and the Winter Music Conference. They've been to Vancouver several times before, and every time I've seen them, I've come away quite pleased. Tonight, one half of the duo is in town, so get your dancing shoes ready and head down. Luke Summers, Dee Bass, and Akeel open.

Whether you're a geared-out geek on the bike route or only ride your steed in the sunny summer months, this weekend's Bikes Inside is a welcome chance to get together with other cyclists and celebrate bike culture in the dead of winter. Two days of events including an art-show-bike-ride-party (fun, but not totally inside) starting at Science World and ending at Gallery Gachet on Friday night, and a party featuring performances, a fashion show, and tournament finalists (microcross and bike polo) on Saturday night. See you there, cyclista.

If you have fond memories of high school prom then screw you. You had your fun. The annual People's Prom is for everyone that was too smart, cynical, ugly, or awkward to enjoy that obligatory 'highlight' of adolescence. That's not to say that the squares with social skills and 90210 looks are not invited. People's Prom--one of the best parties of the year--is inclusive and community-minded. It's also queer-friendly and gender-blind. In fact, boys and girls share the same bathrooms. Just don't go at the same time as your date.

The Biltmore Cabaret (395 Kingsway) opened it's doors on Monday night for a free neighbourhood preview. Seeing as I live a few blocks from the club and the furthest I usually got inside was the caged offsales trap, it was time to see the place with a new light. That new light was red. The place has been completely renovated with lush velvet curtains, deep cushy booths and a very spacious floor to bounce, dance or bob to the music. A few more pics below...

This past spring, Johnette's first proper solo album, Scarred was released; it is a collection of heartfelt rockers and soulful ballads, included is an acoustic cover of Coldplay's "The Scientist", the disc showcases Johnette's latest transformation and incorporation of her inspirations. In today's world of mass-marketed synth-pop, digitally modulated vocals, of Female singers that gyrate scantily across MTV with the impunity of strippers, all the while hiding behind the cliche excuse of 'female empowerment', Ms. Napolitano showed these manufactured Divas what it means to really really be a vocalist, nay, a Musician.

And FLIRT those neophytes did, with a succession of revelers in more and more outrageous costumes plus elaborate props than the regular rubber, whips chains and spikes. A strictly enforced dress-code has a few unsuspecting participants strip off their offending garments and do without. Everything was skin-tight, or just, well, SKIN, or as a wizened regular commented, with a naughty twist: IF IN DOUBT, LESS IS MORE.

The decor was aimed more for easy accessibility than maximizing cinematic ambiance. After all, why do you need props when the attendees themselves serve the function to titillate and visually captivate everyone else? Gyrating nude -- well, almost; there were wolf-boys, beauteous raven-haired succubae and vampiresses to take your breath away, and fetish doctors and nurses to resuscitate you. The ever-popular DJ Pandemonium supplied the raw pulsating music that flogs the air into a hedonistic bodice-ripping pitch, the dance floor would be proud to witness any rites of the bacchanal; well, for this newbie eye-witness at least. But I must say, as a Sin City virgin, I made out -- no pun intended-- like a naughty bandit: two gropes, three flirts, and all the while my being dressed as a chinoiserie Anne Ricesque Vampire, right down to the tail-coat-brocade-vest and frilly lace shirt.

The weekend before Hallowe'en holds more promise than any other for finding fun things to do around the city. If you don't have any house parties lined up and don't want to head to the clubs, here are some free-ish, sort of public, not quite traditional Hallowe'en funtimes for you.

Friday Oct 26th
Hallowe'en Critical Mass: Just like all the other critical masses, but this time in costume. Meet at the VAG at 5pm, ride at 6pm. Veloween Party at the Anza afterwards (8pm and on) $5 with costume/$10 without.

Hallowe'en Skytrain Party: Just like commuting, except in costume, and with djs. Meet at the VCC-Clark Stn at 8:45. Only costs the price of a transfer. Secret party afterwards.

Fright Night: Just like the PNE, but with costumes and haunted houses and drunk teenagers. Every night till Hallowe'en, 6pm-11pm. $20-25, has it always been that expensive?

I missed David Cross' sold out shows last year, but I won't make the same mistake when he returns to ComedyFest this week with a buttload of performances in various shows. This time around, he's brought his buddies from Mr. Show with him. I can't think of a better way to laugh away the death of summer than by catching these festival highlights featuring alternative comedy's brightest stars:

Great fashions. Hot models (guys and girls). Stripping down to reveal sexy undies. Have I got your attention yet? Read on for all the details...